Barrister 1: We have heard the allegations against you. Now tell the court again, where
were you on the night in question?
Jonnybox: I stayed late at work. The deadline for the peace agreement was the 5th of
October so the French delegates requested my urgent assistance on their 3rd draft and of
course I obliged.
Barrister 1: And during this time did you have privileged access to the French diplomatic
databases?
Jonnybox: Monsieur Levigne tries to assist us whenever we help him.
Barrister 1 (raising tone): I ask again, did you have access to the classified database?
Jonnybox: That in itself, is classified information.
Barrister 1: May I remind you, this is an international court of law. You are under oath
sir, and a charge of perjury may still be committed.
Barrister 2: Objection!
Judge: Sustained. We have an agreement with the Anglo-French alliance. You must try
another line counsellor.
Barrister 1: You are of course aware of the connections being made with your department
and the secret services? What did you do with the German Account numbers?!
Judge: Counsellor!! May the jury discount the last question.
Barrister 1: Sorry, my lord. The prosecution requests an adjournment. Our next witness is
having difficulty at the airport security.
Judge: Very Well. We shall reconvene at 1500 tomorrow.
In a backroom, Jonnybox is squeezed by his wife Adelle.
Adelle: They can�t keep you in overnight again! You didn�t do anything!
Jonnybox: Don�t worry Ellie. Look after the kids for me- get room service. I�ll be out
soon to whisk us off to Mauritius.
Barrister 2: Well, their next witness is Fritz Brenner. I believe I can persuade Justice
Machullen that he is unreliable. He has a drink problem, and the head of the Bureau de
S�curit� can vouch that he has affiliations with Deutsche Bank.
Jonnybox: I know. Eurotrash if ever I saw it. He�s got his fingers in so many pots of
honey his wife has to use male escorts.
Barrister 2: Indeed Jonnybox...but...he has friends in high places...
Adelle: God, I hope you know what you�re doing. This has gone much too far!
Jonnybox plants a grip on her shoulder.
Barrister 2: Now, you must tell me again. Could you possibly have known the account
numbers for the stolen German accounts at Credit Suisse?
Jonnybox: Come on Antoine. You know the agency wouldn�t stand for that.
Barrister 2: Yes...but there is a jury out there. If Brenner holds his ground he could
make the corruption charges extremely weighty. I need something; something that
can convince the jury you could not have broken into the systems.
Jonnybox: The agency already gave you all the information they have on this. I don�t know
what else there...
Pause
Adelle: He couldn�t have. He only does admin for the Foreign Secretary!
Paper shuffling, and averted gazes.
Barrister 2: Adelle, I think I need to talk to Jonnybox alone for a bit. You know- for
the sake of haste.
Adelle: Oh right. I see. I - I don�t want to be kept in the dark though. You�d better not
keep anything from me Mr Jonnybox. Get back to me soon and don�t do anything stupid.
Exits grumpily.
Quiet but intense whispering ensues under dimmed lights.
Jonnybox apparently drifts into a daydream about the courtroom drama in a series of
confrontations.
Barrister 1 [angrily]: The corruption is astounding. It seems to go right to the top.
Even the Swiss officials are refusing to give evidence! I put it to you, Jonnybox, that
you are really involved in a deep anti-German conspiracy to collapse their Government and
expedite this war!!
Drifts into�
Barrister 2: And so Madame, you can show us the documents that not only is the witness an
alcoholic, but that he was admitted to the Credit Suisse Rehabilitation Clinic under an
alias?
Drifts into�
Judge: I have to say, your part in the peace process is admirable, Jonnybox. No court can
advocate subversive behaviour of the sort being charged...but...ahem I wish you the best
in your cause. Clearly the evidence here is transparent and weak. Case dismissed!
There is an uproar in the viewing gallery
Barrister 2 leaps up and hugs Adelle. Enraged, Barrister 1 shakes his fist and mutters to
himself.
Jonnybox hands over the handsome cheque and strides defiantly out of court with his
family.
Outside, gasping at the contents of the briefcase,
Adelle: But, but, my god. They�re the actual German Bonds?
Jonnybox: Taxi! Airport please. I have some fish to catch.
